The One With A Business Card

With all of the ridiculous situations I have been in/put myself in,

I started to think the possibility of a romantic man was out the window.

Turns out he was just out on the streets of San Francisco! 

Let's take this back to Valentine's Day.

I won radio tickets to a "Bitter Ball" in SF for V-Day

and since myself and the majority of my friends are single, 

we made the journey out to the city that night.

With our club outfits on, we were ready to hit the town 
and enjoy a live performance by Icona Pop.

We were waiting to cross the street to the club 
and there was a guy on a bike behind us.

We made eye contact for a second and I turned back around 
not thinking anything of it.

Next thing I know, there was a tap on my shoulder.
It was the bike guy!

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful."

With my standard, awkward "Thank you" I turned back around.

My friend laughed and screamed, "It's her skirt!"

And he responded back, "No, it's her eyes!"

 

The light finally turned and my friends and I crossed the street to get in line for the club.

 As we waited to get in, the guy on the bike rolled up and said

"I just had to come back and give this to you."

He handed me his business card and biked away.

Is this real life?!

I was shocked by his boldness 

and due to the fact that he didn't creep me out or make me feel uncomfortable, 

I thought, why not give him a chance?

After a great night in SF filled with dancing, singing and drinking, and good vibes,
the next day I decided to text him-

"Hey this is the girl you gave your card to the other night. I applaud your boldness."

So there was my short, sweet and to the point text,
and then there is his...

"Thanks. It was the day, it was your eyes. I'm a hopeless romantic. There is no real connection in the digital era we live in. It used to be that just a warm 
captivating glance was all someone needed. I applaud your smile."

Can you say swoon?!

I asked him what he was doing in SF that night and he said-

"A retrospective of avant garde radical Japanese films at the SF Yerba Buena Center."

Ok, how do I compete with that?!?

While he was being all hipster/artistic as shit, 

I was drinking cheap rum and watching my friend drop it low with five guys at once.

I have a feeling our worlds are very, very different...

Either way, we have made plans to meet up and I can only imagine 
the sweet, artistic, heart melting words he will say in person!

Update to come later...

Until then, enjoy some Icona Pop!

 "I'm from the 90's bitch!"

Relation-Shit Special: Where They At?! Part II

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 

It's been two blissful years of Relation-Shits and I am still alive, 

still smiling and still laughing at myself for getting into so many ridiculous situations. 

I think that's something to celebrate.

Well here they are, the final flashbacks!

"Where Are They Now?"

Part Two

6) The One Who Was Honest

The only guy who has ever been that honest about his non-feelings,

which I appreciated but it didn't really stick...

This honest guy and I became each others Thursday nights.

Let me explain-

After he was honest with me, life went on.

Thus on Thursday night it was time to hit the bars again with the roommates.

Considering that is the only thing to do on a Thursday night 
when you are 21 and in college, 

he was there as well.

A few drinks and hours later we were hanging out again.

Pretending like the text never happened, 
we became cuddle buddies for the evening.

That's right, I had a slumber party...
Seriously.

With an awkward goodbye in the morning consisting of 
"Oh yeah we should totally hang out!"

I didn't hear from the boy until the next Thursday where, you guessed it, 
we ran into each other at the bars!

This routine went on for about a month and I thought 
maybe we will get a second chance at a second date.

Wrong again!

I have such back intuition when it comes to guys and dating...

Following my usual Thursday routine, I showed up at the bars and so did the guy 
but this time he had another girl on his arm.

That's right, he had a girlfriend. 

Two AMF's later and my roommates decided it was a good time to take me home.

Sadly no cabs were around but thankfully we made friends with bar people 
and they drove me and my four roommates back home 
during which I sat on my roommates lap, crying, trying not to throw up.

I later found out that one of my roommates offered 
to make out with the driver just to get him to drive us...oh college.

Either way, him and his lady have since broken up but that was the last time we interacted, until New Years when we had a random run in 
consisting of him asking me why I was there and not in SoCal...twice.

Drunk talk.

Maybe it's time for me to walk away from the bars for a bit.

7) The One Who Used the Same Line

Yes, I was a tool, but I am a very fortunate tool...

Thankfully my toolishness did not piss off my friend enough 
to completely cut me out of his life.

Instead, I think we became closer friends because of it. 

We have known each other for 8 years now and have been through

a relationship, a friendship and a relation-shit. 

But during it all we were still able to remain friends and  

remember that a friendship is where it all started.

We run in the same circle back home so we are bound to see each other at gatherings 

and the beautiful thing about it all is that it's not weird!

Well, I don't think it is...

he might have a different opinion...

So lesson to learn here-

Just because someone is a tool does not mean they do not care 
about the other persons feelings.

Sometimes you can't help being a tool

(though I try my hardest not to be)

and the key thing to remember is forgiveness.

Best. Movie. Ever. Plus, just a great song...    

 

8) The One With the Hashtag Problem

The hashtagger strikes again!

Ok, well his friend has I guess...

After I posted this blog onto my Facebook page I got an interesting comment from someone I am FB friends with-

  

"Ali you're cheating on me? WITH MY APPRENTICE!!! We're WATCHING TV IN HIS ROOM. 

I watch the TV on top."

That's right, of all the guys to meet at a bar, 

I just HAD to meet a guy who knows people I know...

I guess he shares his #richkidproblems with this guy, 

allowing him to watch one of his two flat screen TV's he has in his room.

Why did I let this one go?!?

Oh yeah, because of his #hashtaggingproblems

and because he is a well known womanizer thanks to our mutual friend and social media.

Sadly, I have yet to run into the hashtagger since then but his friend is another story.

Propositioning me to let him take me out on a date to gain readers from his 

"celebrity status," you may hear about him again...

Oh how I miss college.

 I'm sure they would love to tell you about their women... #womanizers

9) The One Who Waited

I would first like to apologize to the mother that read this original post 
and now is not a fan of me...

I hope she can understand that she has one great son 

that just gave some girl a little heartbreak.

Now that I made peace with that,

the real problem with this one is that we were using each other.

We were both still trying to get over previous relationships
and using one another to do so.

We wanted it to work so much but ultimately it was not meant to be.

It was one of those things where you had a crush in High School 

but it was never the right time.

You always wondered "What if?"

We finally had the opportunity to try it out and our "What if?" 

turned out to be a no good.

 

This all happened at a point in my life when I needed someone to be there for me 

and sadly he could not do that.

He was still focused on this last girl, 

even if he was not willing to admit it and I was focused on someone else too.

He is another nice guy but it was just the wrong time for both of us.

Even though I was hurt, we have known each other for 18 years 

and I was not ready for it to be thrown away because of one mistake we both made.

Though reluctant at first, 

I got him to meet up with me for some lunch to talk things out.

I apologized for the way I reacted to his break-up and 

he apologized for the harsh things he said.

While I will never be allowed back in his house, 

we have cleared things up enough to hang out in the same friend circle 

without being super awkward.

I know he will find a girl that will appreciate his quirkiness, kindness and close family.

Just don't blog about him and you should be fine :) 

What chu waitin' for?

10) The One Who Was OUR Valentine

One of the most awkward, amazing, memorable and ridiculous Valentine's dates 

I have ever had and probably ever will.

But that was only the beginning of that guy being a part of my every day life.

How you may ask?

Well, he ended up dating one of my roommates.

No, not the one that was on the Valentine's date with us, another one.

Yup, he made his rounds with the roommates and had at least one date with us all.

That womanizer...

So he stayed at our house a lot.

I saw him drunk. I saw him half naked. I saw him dance like a fool.

I feel like I know him more than I ever wanted to.

Since graduation he has disappeared from my life.

Considering I am close to his ex, it makes sense.

But he is now with a new lady who seems to be making him happy.

Plus they have matching transitional glasses.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

I can only hope he makes their Valentine's Day 

as special as the one we shared...

 

 So there it is. 

Two long years of Relation-Shits.

While I am always accepting love and looking for someone to love,

once I find "the one," I will be sad to leave this all behind.

My passion is writing and telling stories, but not those made up ones.

I enjoy sharing my life problems, resolutions and awkwardness with readers.

It helps me figure out my life and hopefully it helps you as well, 

if not just for a good laugh.

So thank you for supporting me. 

Thank you for reading. 

And thank you for your criticism.

I would not be able to be as honest without it.

It's all been one bittersweet symphony that's life.
Cheers!

 Special shout out to Casey, Olivia, Jeanne, Stephen and Craig 

for being my #1 fans, supporters, editors and readers! Love you guys!

Relation-Shit Special: Where Are They Now?

Gearing up for the two year anniversary of Relation-Shits,

I figured why not do a "Where Are They Now?" feature 

explaining what happened with these relation-shits 

after they were blogged about

and if they still even talk to me.

Because I have so many amazing Relation-Shits to look back on,
you're in for a two part series folks!

Enjoy the first 5 flashbacks 
(click on each title to be taken to the flashback blog post)
and watch out for the actual
two year celebration on February 6th
for the rest of my trip down memory lane...

Cheers!

"Where Are They Now?"

Part 1

1) The One Who Kidnapped Me
  

It was sophomore year and I thought he was adorable. 

So adorable that I said yes to a date with him which then led to him kidnapping me...

Either way, adorable guy.

Well, our date was not the last time I saw him.

I figured I would give him a second chance 
since he only kidnapped me and didn't harm me, 

so a friend and I went to a party he was having at his house.

Yes, the house he kidnapped me to- 
I returned but this time with back-up.

My friend and I showed up and he was shit faced. 

Standing in the corner trying to dodge his attempts to get me drunk,

My friend and I witnessed what may have been the most awkward 

party kick outs to happen during our college years...

A guy and two girls (who look way too young) walked in and were obviously not invited.

My kidnapper walked up to them and asked them to leave.

The guy said no and proceeded to finish his beer bong in the middle of the living room.

My kidnapper was not happy about this a started yelling-

"This is my house and I can't be responsible for anyone under 18 

being here with alcohol! I mean look at her!" 

(pointing to the young girls) 

"She HAS braces! She is too young to be here."

At that point, all my friend and I could do was laugh and leave...

The next day I was sitting at home with my roommates telling them of the 

second adventure I had with my kidnapper.

I was just finishing up the "She HAS braces!" line, 

my phone started to ring.

It was him!

I picked up and he said "Were you just talking about me?"

Me: "Ummmm...what?"

"You butt dialed me and I heard the whole conversation. 
You're really embarrassed now huh?"

"No...."

Yes, yes I was.

And that was the last I had heard from him. 

Rumor has it he dropped out of school but that has yet to be confirmed.

I wonder what he is up to now...probably kidnapping more girls on dates.

Near. Far. Where ever you freakin' are. My heart will go on...

2) The One Who Made Out With My Forehead

This is a memory I will hold and cherish forever... 

Not because he is the love of my life but 

because he is my brother from another mother and still a great friend to me-

Even though he makes out with my forehead sometimes...

I have learned to get past it and accept that that is just him.

I have seen pretty much every relationship this boy has had, 

every heartbreak and every flirtatious fail.

But something I have never seen is anyone like him.

He has the ability to take the shittiest of situations 

and do something with them.

Now, it may not always be the right thing or the smart thing

But he keeps putting himself out there to find his true passion in life 

which is something I admire.

He might just be the one Relation-Shit I am happiest to still be in contact with.

So thank you brother for staying by my side these past five years 

and slobbering on my forehead that one time. 

  

3) The One Who Ruined the First Date

Too bad there is not a drunk ass bitch song...

This one takes the cake for me.

As in, I can be one drunk ass bitch sometimes!

Unfortunately, or fortunately for me, I never saw this guy again.

But I did have to see my friend after the incident who told me 

some things about that night I wish I never heard...

While I was too worried about my dignity before, 

I feel like we all know each other well enough for you to hear the real reason 

I was kicked out of that bar...

I tried to flash the bartender.

There, I said it.

I really wanted a drink and the line was too long 

so I figured I would use what my mamma gave me to get ahead in line.

Apparently that is frowned upon in real life as opposed to movies.

So my friend stopped me before I could make that mistake 

but the bouncer saw my failed attempt and figured it was time for me to leave.

So he kicked me out.

Not fully understanding what being kicked out meant, 

I tried to get back in past the bouncer-

"You can't go back in the bar Miss."

Whipping my drivers license out of my clutch-

"But I have my ID!"

He did not take kindly to that and suggested my friend take me home.

Then after attempting to pee in a bush by a cop, 

my friend successfully dropped me off at my apartment in one piece.

Just in time for me to become friendly with my toilet. 

So while I do not know my dates name, what he looks like or where he is,

I will always remember the lessons learned through this experience 

and how to have a sober first date!

4) The One You Can't Let Go Of

Shocker here!

He is still in my life and I have yet to pull a Rose and pry his hands off of mine,

nor do I think I want to just yet...

It is funny looking back on the date I originally blogged about this.

I wrote this blog about a week before I met someone else.

Someone who helped me to get over some of the feelings I had for this guy.

Crazy timing huh?

Well, it obviously did not work.

I still care for this guy and he is still a huge part of my life.

We do the whole- 

'When we're together we are together, 

when we're a part we are a part.'

Not healthy for anyone involved but like I said, he's the one ya can't let go of!
As of right now we are in different states, so that helps...

I mean he eats whole packets of ketchup, passes gas all the time, and snores 

but I guess those are things I appreciate when he is not with me?

Ok, maybe not. 
Maybe I hate all of those things.

But for right now, I'll put up with them.

Who knows if we will ever end up together again but

all I can say is that it's ok to have someone you can't let go of in your life.

Sometimes it is the lesson we learn trying to hold onto them 

that will ultimately help you to let go of them.

5) The One Who Left Me On A Curb/The One Who Called Me Out

Speaking of the person who helped me get over the one I could not let go of...

This guy has made a few appearances in my blog. 

Four to be exact.

I know, how could I be with someone who was four times the Relation-Shit?!

Well, as much as he was the Relation-Shit King,
I only just stopped talking to him a few months ago.

We ended our relationship over a year ago but 
being that girl that holds on to feelings long gone,

we still kept in contact, had lunches, hung out and texted.

BUT this was not one sided. 
He participated in the holding on too.
Just sayin'

A major part of the holding on was him being located fairly close to me.
Thankfully he is fleeing the state to pursue an education! 

He also has a girlfriend now and they seem really good for each other.

My bet is that he proposes or they get married within the next year...

Will it hurt when I see that damn heart pop up on Facebook news feed?

Sadly yes,

but I know we would have never worked out.

I mean, I would have to give up my wine for him!

And you know how much I love my wine!

He is very much so my T-Swizzle Relation-Shit...

Well there you have it.

I talk to some, miss some, would not be able to pick some out of a lineup and 

no longer associate with some.

Relationships are difficult in themselves but 

keeping a friendship after a failed relationship is even harder. 

While it does not always work out, it is well worth the effort.

I loved half of these guys at one point in my life;

it seems silly to throw everything away because of a breakup.

It may take some time but don't give up!

If they are meant to be there for you they will 

and if not, you are better off without them.

Plus, there is still Facebook to keep tabs on what they are up to!

In a non-stalker way of course...

First five down, next five to show up on Wednesday!