The One I Met At a Wedding

 I'm at that age where people I went to high school with 

are getting married. 

It kinda freaks me out

considering I am so far from that stage in my life. 

A little more than a year ago, 

one of my good friends from high school, Joel, took the plunge into married life 

and I was lucky enough to be invited to the special occasion. 

Now, I have been friends with Joel for 8 years

and he has seen my lack of expertise when it comes to guys. 

So, the great friend that he is, 

took it upon himself to ATTEMPT to set me up with one of his Marine groomsmen. 

Yes, it was a military wedding.

Yes, there were a gaggle of men in uniform.

And yes, they were all pretty attractive. 

Perfect setting right?

You would think so, but Joel has seen one too many episodes of 

"How I Met Your Mother" and decided to play a little game 

called "Haaaaaave you met Ali?"

Now in the show, it is call "Haaaaaave you met Ted." 

Obviously, we needed to change the name.

Here is a little video to give you an idea of what I was about to be put through-

 

Joel, who was so happy and excited to be married that day 

to his high school sweetheart, 

decided he needed to share the wealth of love.

While I was sitting at my table during the reception, he came up to me-

"Hey Ali. So whats the deal with the guys in your life?"

"Well, I'm single....so nothing is up with them."

"Perfect, one of the guys in my wedding party is single, good looking and in the Marines."

"Why have you not hooked us up Joel?!?!"

Mind you, this was said in a sarcastic tone.

Joel looks up at his groomsman across the room and 

yelled for him to come over.

 Begging him to stop in fear of the totally embarrassment that was about to occur,

the man was already on his way over. 

He walked up to us with a confused look on his face and Joel said, 

"Haaaaaave you met Ali?" 

and then books it to the next table 

leaving me and this guy I just met alone.

 Standing there. 

Very confused. 

How do I respond? 

"So how do you know Joel?"

The conversation lasted barely a few minutes and 

then we awkwardly parted ways. 

As you can guess, nothing happened with us

BUT, I hear he is still single...still hope?

So, thank you Joel- For attempting to introduce me to a guy 

while embarrassing me at the same time. 

Not too hard to do but, it taught me to never trust you 

to introduce me to a potential date again...

The Ones With the Top 10 Pick Up Lines Part 2

And the pick up lines continue...

5) "If I see you without a drink in your hand, I'll buy you one."

               This is the moment when I should have chugged the beer I was drinking, slammed it on the nearest table and said "Ok, let's go get a drink!" But at the time, the thought did not go through my head. I know, I am a fool. Of course, I did not see him the rest of the night and could not wait long enough for him to find me, so I bought another drink myself...maybe this one is my fault...

4) "I owe you a beer."

              I don't know how many times this one person had said this to me. I drove him home once when he was drunk and every time I saw him after that, he would say "I owe you a beer!" Funny thing was, he would yell it to me and he walked right past me...Finally, I saw him at the bars one night and he said it to me again. At that moment he was just handed a beer from a friend and that is when he finally gave me a beer. It's all about timing I guess. But now we have nothing to talk about...

3) "When I have kids, will you babysit them for me?"

               I don't think anyone would ever expect to hear this while out at the bars, not even me.  Back story- I babysit for someone I had class with and his friends all know that I do this. Mainly because when they all take my friend out to get wasted, I am the responsible babysitter. So, I'm guess he is either really excited to be a father and hire babysitters so he can go out OR he was extremely shit faced and that's the only thing he knows about me...still up in the air with this one.

2) "Are you a freshman?"

              Just last week a friend and I were asked this at the bars. Why yes mister, I am a freshman. At the bars. And I totally would love to go home with you now after you charmed me like that...NO NO NO! I know there are people out there with fake ID's, but they're all trying not to act their age and be older. What makes you think girls would like to be asked if she is a child? Because that's what freshmen are...sorry. So no, I am not a freshman, even thought I have a very child like face which I am sure one day I will appreciate. One day.

1) "If I was going to date someone right now, it would totally be you."

              Surprisingly, this was one of the top lines used on me and my roommates our last year of college. When you hear someone say this to you, you are not sure if you should think "Awwww, how sweet. He would totally date me right now but he is still trying to figure out his life and needs some alone time first" or "He is just saying that to make you think he wants you, but once he gets it in he will move on to the next." I have found out that neither are the correct assumptions to this. Sometimes people just are not looking for anything except just a good time with people they enjoy being around, which does not always mean they are only looking for that one thing.

So pick up lines may not be your best bet. 

What I have seen work for my roommate and 

a guy she met at the bars recently was a simple 

"Hi, my name is *insert name here*" and 

he just starting a general conversation. 

No bull shit, 

no awkward pick up line, 

no creepy compliment. 

Just a hello. 

That is all it really takes. 

If you can find something interesting to talk about, you're golden. 

If it gets to that awkward silence, maybe move on to the next one...

Cheers to your next night out on the town!

The One With The Top 10 Pick Up Lines

For those of you who know me (or read me blog), 

you know that I venture to the bars almost weekly.

There is seriously nothing else to do here. 

It's really one of my only options- sorry mom.

Now that I have graduated from college, still going out every Thursday night
is almost something I am not proud of...

but hey, it's summer right?! I still have time.

Obviously, the bar scene has the reputation for being the place 

to get girls numbers and hook up with guys. 

All of this cannot happen without a pick up line to get the conversation started.

Right? 

Wrong.

Unfortunately, most pick up lines I have encountered have put the conversation to a halt.

So here are the  

Top 10 Pick Up Lines 

I have heard at the bars this past year and 

some commentary on what me and my roommates were really thinking: 

10) "Next time I see you, I'll buy you a drink."

             Now yes, this is a nice offer but not when I already don't have a drink in my hand and I am in need of one. Not saying I rely on guys to buy me drinks, but why wait? Oh, I know. You're hoping the next time you see me, I'll be too shit faced to remember, won't need a drink and will be ready to just go home with you. NO! That's not how it works...killin' me boys and no, I did not get my promised drink.

9) "Next time I am sober and see you, I'll ask you out on a date."

             This was an interesting one, considering I was sober and he was not that drunk...if you are actually interested in asking me out, then do it! If I care that much, I will probably remember! But considering we only see each other at the bars on Thursday nights, I doubt a sober evening will ever be in our future. But it's the thought that counts right?

8) "What would you do if I started dancing with you?"

            Well sir, it depends on how/where you started dancing with me. If you sneak attack me from behind, chances are I will either freak out, turn around and say "I did not invite you back there" or I will dance with you long enough to get the sign from my friends on whether or not I should continue this wonderful moment. Let's see which one happens for ya.

7) "What are you doing tonight?"

               I laughed out loud when I heard this one. First of all, we were both at the bar, so I would hope he knew what I was doing that night- going to the bars. Oh but no, he wanted to know what I was doing AFTER the bars. My response? Sleeping. Alone. 

6) "Why are you so awkward around me?"

               So I keep hearing that I am awkward. From multiple people in various friend groups of mine...Not sure how to feel about this one but I guess I should just say it. Yes, I am an awkward person. But when I guy starts flirting with you, sometimes you are awkward because you don't know how to react. Well, that's what happened. I mean, wouldn't you be awkward if a guy you had no interest in kept asking you to stay over after the bars? No? Just me?

                   So there is the first half of the Top 10 Pick Up Lines this year. 
                          
                   Check out the last five tomorrow!

                                         And now, I leave you with a video 

                              on pick up lines that I think we can all learn from-

                                               Pick Up Line Lesson- How to Get a Girl