The One I Call My Main Man

By the title you might be thinking I finally found someone.

Wrong.

No, this is not someone I dated/am dating. 

No, this is not someone I hooked up with.

And no, this is not someone who has been a relation-shit before. 

This is my main man, my grandpa, my old fart, my cranky old man, my gramps and 

most importantly, my Papa.

He has never broken my heart, 

never left me on the side of a curb, 

never kidnapped me while we were out 

and never broke up with me over text. 

He truly loved me for who I was, 

awkward, sarcastic and all, which is something that can be hard to find.

While this is all very heartfelt and beautiful, 

there was a side to him that, at times, was amusing...to some.

These are moments we can look back on and smile about.
Humor that showed up at unsuspecting times and continued until the end.

Moments and memories I just had to share for a good laugh...

The Year: 1978

The Location: My dads parents house

The People: My dad, my mom, and my dads parents

The four of them were sitting at the dinner table and 

my mom did not shovel too much food onto her plate. 

It was her first time having dinner there so she did not want to over indulge. 

My grandpa seeing this, turns to her and says-

"You don't eat much for a fat girl."

Mortified, she said nothing and has yet 

to let him forget what he said that fateful night.

Only recently did he apologized for his harsh words.

While he may have been in his old fart stage, 

he had some good humor, even when he was sick & stuck sitting at home all day- 

Me: "Hey Grandpa, want me to go out and get you some donuts?!"

"No! I think that's what is killing me!"

"Remind me never to eat donuts again..."

This one got a good laugh out of myself and my Grandma-

Me: "So, any hot nurses coming by to take care of you?"

"Only one."

"She hotter than Grandma?"

"Yeah."

(They are a pretty good lookin' couple...)

So, because I am the favorite grandchild, I printed a picture of me and my grandpa, 

framed it and put it next to his bed. 

Jealous of my favoritism, my cousin Leo did the same and 

this is what my Grandpa had to say-

"Make sure to take that down when he leaves."

When people think it is the end of your days, they tend to flock to you. 

This happened to the old fart but he knew what was up-

Me: "Isn't it fun having all of these people come and visit you?! 

You must feel so popular!"

"They are only visiting me because they think I'm dying."

"You know what Grandpa, you're right. Otherwise no one would be here."

Don't worry, he laughed at that one!

Always up on his humor, I think I may have learned from the best!

To my Papa: 

Thank you for never giving me a real relation-shit to blog about

but instead showing me that love can be found in this crazy world.

Which in your case was twice...

To both of my Grandmas...

Love you ya old fart!