Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The One Who Was A Toddler

If you dress up as a toddler for Halloween and a guy at a bar hits on you...
you might want to find another guy.


Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 26, 2012

The One Who Asked For My Hand

Mini-Shit

Boy- "Will you marry me?"

Me- "If I am 30 and single, sure"

"Damn it. I'm trying to come up with a good reason not to hang out with this 
kinda weird girl!"

Is it weird that he is not the first person to do this?
Always being used as the fake fiance to get away from the weirdos...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The One Who Messaged Me

Facebook.
The torture chamber of past relationships and hookups.

You try to stay friends and act "cool" 
but you can't stop yourself from seeing those 
updates, posts, and pictures of the old flames of your past.

Yes, you could block them...
but what if something hilarious happens to them?
Then you miss out on justifying that you are ultimately better off without them!

Except when it comes to the Facebook world.
You need them there.

So don't pretend like you keep to yourself while passing time on the book.
You know you look up old friends, family and flames to see what everyone is up to. 
Unfortunately, you may find things you don't want to see...

Like your old flame in a new relationship. 
That damn heart on your feed, in your face, all day for you to stare at.
Why Facebook, why?

While Facebook has many annoying and depressing aspects, 
there is one perk to it all- messages.

Now, this may be a down side for some of you 
depending on which messages you are looking through. 
But for me, it served as a pleasant reminder of the amazing friends I have in my life. 

I was on the ever so popular social networking site and feeling shitty 
about some Reltaion-Shits popping up in my life. 
Because, of course, I stay friends with them all...

I was looking through old messages for fun and 
found one from a good friend that was dated back to 2010.
So long ago, I know. 

This boy, who is not a Relation-Shit, nor do I for see him as being one 

(thought I have been wrong before)
reached out to me when he saw another boy break my heart.
And this is how it went...


"So, forgive me if this is weird or random, 
but I heard about your situation with (insert boys name here). 
I know we've never been super close or anything, 
but i want you to know that I think of you as a good friend 
and if you need to talk or anything, I'm here for you. 
And not to brag, but I just so happen to be an excellent listener."

Yes, this blog is suppose to be about Relation-Shits, but 
sometimes Relation-Shits can lead to wonderful Relation-Ships!

Because of a silly boy at the time, 
my friendship with the boy who messaged me has grown 
and time after time he has proven to be one of the most caring friends around.

So thank you heart-breaker. 
Because of you I now have an amazing friendship, a great listener, 
and a funny individual by my side!

Monday, October 8, 2012

The One Who Asked "Can I Get Yo Numba?"

Asking for a guy or girls number takes a lot of courage. 
Giving away your number to a stranger take a lot of trust.
If you do not have either of these, then your contact list may be minimal...

Personally, I have not asked someone for their number 
(Call me out if I am wrong though. If I asked for it, I am sure I contacted you. 
So, you would have my number. Obvi.)

But, I have experienced people asking for my number.
If you recall, that is how I got into trouble with "The One Who Was A Planner."
(Yes, there was a blog about that)

Giving out your number can be dangerous, but mostly entertaining for all involved. 
Unless they go all stalker on you, then time to change yo number.

While there have been a few a gentlemen asking for my number, 
I have yet to experience anything like this...
 


All I can say is- I WISH!
Obviously a very effective way to get a number.
I'd give mine out!

But when my roommate was approached regarding the release of her digits, 
it did not go the way most would hope. 
It was a unique strategy.
Who knew social media would be used to get a number 
from someone you just hung out with.

This is what my roommate came home to on Facebook
after a night of hanging with some peeps
Guy we just saw: "So I was a fool and did not get your number. Mine is..."

Roommate: "No need for numbers. I'm sure I'll see you around."

"Oh dear..."

I give the man credit for reaching out and trying to get her number.
Takes some balls to do that, so hats off to you!
But, I also give my friend credit for not leading him on.
Yes, it may have been a harsh response but wouldn't it be worse if she 
gave her number and ignored all of his messages? 

I do wish it had worked for the guy...
BUT Guys/Girls- 
Don't give up!
Not all girls or guys are going to be this blunt!

Keep on putting yourself out there and asking 
"Can I get yo numba?" 
Someone is bound to say yes!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The One Hiding Under the Bed

There comes a point in every mans life 
when his mother stumbles upon one of his dirty secrets.

Or so, this is what the guys have told me.

Anyways, it finally came to that point in my good friends life 
and it was too funny not to share...

It all started with a text message from his mother-

"So I gave away your big ass bed today and under it there was a little bottle 
of what I assumed was hand sanitizer."

I'm sure you can only imagine what is coming...

"So I cleaned my hands with it."

I'm cringing too, don't worry.

"Uh oh!"

Yeah...

"Not what I thought. Water based lubricant."

I'm still dying reading this now...

"Thanks for that."

Surprisingly, my friend was not phased 
by his mothers discovery and laughed it off.
I guess being so far away, there was not much he could do...

Word to the wise-
Check/clean under your bed before you go off to school. 
You never know when someone will be moving things around! 
Or moving you out! 
Otherwise, they might find your lube stash...