Tuesday, August 13, 2013

New Site Underway!

I have an announcement to make-

There will be a new Relation-Shits blog coming your way!

myrelation-shits.blogspot.com will officially launch September 2nd!

Since starting Relation-Shits 2 years ago, 
I have received compliments, complaints, death threats 
(ok, maybe not that intense BUT I did get some pretty harsh words...)

I have been overwhelmed with the support 
of my friends, family and strangers around the world.

So thank you to everyone who has read, commented, supported, edited, 
provided relation-shits and given me shit for my relation-shits.
You make it all worth it!

See you September 2nd!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The One Who Was Romantically Challenged

In the ever so clever and honest words of Carrie Bradshaw- 
"Are we romantically challenged or are we just sluts?"

 Dating has drastically changed throughout the years.
My first high school boyfriend asked me out over AIM-
and for those of you who don't know what AIM is, I feel old...

AOL Instant Messanger was the hot thing when I was a teen.
But now it's just a distant memory for us 90's babies. 

My second high school boyfriend set up a huge scavenger hunt 
to ask me to prom, using my friends as clues leading us to the beach.
Awesome, I know!
But grand gestures also seem to be a beautiful past time.

Now a days it's all about Tiffany's bracelets and Michael Kors watches 
to show how much your significant other loves you.
Seriously, where do all of these young college guys get that kind of money?!?

Well, I thought each flame of my past would prepare me for the men 
I would encounter post high school and college...
but of course, once again, I would be wrong in the whole dating department.

I recently met a guy through my online dating adventures 
and we ended up going on quite a few dates which consisted of 
going out for dinner, homemade dinner, movies, bowling, coffee, 
going out on his boat and a movie night as his place. 

During those dates, which spanned over a month and a half, 
he never tried anything.
No hand holding, no arm around the shoulder, no kiss, nothing.
Yes, that may sound very G-rated but you have to start somewhere right?   

But then you get the guy who wants to do it right then and there,
even if that then and there is in your garage after knowing him for a day!
But hey, at least he tried something right?

There never seems to be a middle ground.
It's either they/you get nothing or they/you want everything...
So how do you reach a happy medium without being a slut or man whore?

I'm not sure on that answer but what I can say is that I don't believe romance is dead. 
While I am not looking for my husband at this point in my life or 
looking to be a hump and dump to that guy at the bar,
I am looking for someone who is willing to put their all into a relationship.

That does not mean buying an expensive gift to show me you care,
but maybe that's just the way this generations expression of love is viewed?

As a "too legit to quit" 90's baby, 
I was exposed to the grand gestures of 80's movie re-runs on TV
where it was all about the moment that was created 
and not about the fashion statement it created.

Material objects break, get lost and become "so last season."
And yes, memories do fade too-
but hopefully you will have that person who created that memory 
with you by your side 
to remind you of how great that moment you once shared was.

So express your love in whatever way you think 
your significant other will be able to grasp how you feel.

If that means spending hundreds, more power to ya and is your work hiring?
If that means putting together a homemade card with flowers 
from your neighbors yard, at least try to ask your neighbor first...

As long as you are willing to put your all into the gesture of love,
no one will care about the price tag,
but they will still post that shit on FB so put a little effort into it!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The One Who Loves Workaholics

Yet again I find myself exploring the online dating world.
Mainly out of curiosity,
but also you never know when Price Charming himself will pop up in a message.

Or Leo DiCaprio.
I mean, he is single now...
I can dream can't I?

Well Prince Charming has not shown up yet 
but a close second has made his way into my inbox!
We had briefly chatted a few months ago but he was leaving for a European adventure.
To my surprise, he came back and messaged me again!

"My Euro trip was totally tight butthole. Still single huh? You can buy me a drink. 
It might help you feel better :)"

Notice anything off about that message?
The fact that he thinks I would buy him a drink?!
Think again mister!

Oh and the fact that it involves the phrase "tight butthole."
I'm over here thinking-
'It must be one of those damn auto corrects and 
he really meant to say his trip was totally awesome and life changing.'


So I responded-
"Totally tight butthole?"

Turns out he was making a reference to Workaholics,
which is a show I watch and have totally heard the 'tight butthole' reference
but did I think to associate our conversation about his Euro trip to a TV show?


But I guess that just means I'm off of my game...
And Workaholics references. 

Dammit Ali!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Relation-Shit Special: Is Social Media Stalking the New First Date?

I am pleased to announce that someone actually enjoys my writing!
And of course it would be a dating website...
Either way, someone not related to me is reading and I appreciate it!

An online dating site called Smarter Dating contacted me via twitter 
and asked if I would write an article for their blog pertaining to dating.

How could I say no to that?!
I love writing, I love dating (shocking, I know) and I love social media!
When ya mix all of those together to create a blog post for an online dating site, 
you just know dreams really do come true. 

So here it is!

(Check out the actual post here) 

Is Social Media Stalking the New First Date?

By Alison S.

I messaged him on Facebook, he followed me on Instagram, I subscribed to his YouTube page, he friended me on Facebook, I followed him on Twitter and then he texted me. All of this just to stalk one another only to find out he has a girlfriend. Why go through the trouble of getting to know the social media side of someone when that’s just who they want you to think they are?

Unless you consider FBO friendships to be the real deal then this guy and I are social media BFF’s! Hell, we are practically internet married with all of the commitment and time we spent friending, subscribing and following each other. So why is social media the go to medium when it comes to meeting people these days? It’s simple; you can investigate before you get into anything!

Before the internet and cell phones, yes- that time did exist, people actually met face to face! But now everyone (including me) hides behind computer screens and smart phones. Online dating is a perfect example- I recently got into the online dating scene and it’s a love/hate relationship. I love the fact that I can check out their grammar, what they’re interested in and their “details” i.e. how tall they are, if they smoke or whether or not they want kids. All things you could find out by actually meeting them, but instead you can do it without the awkward back and forth questions. You can go through a list of guys until you find your “perfect match.” But are they really your “perfect match” or just the best sounding option?

I have found out that it’s not all about what you think you want and who would be the best option as a mate, because I have had some great contenders- such as my secure firefighter that has strong career goals, a house, a dog and even a boat! Total package right? Maybe for someone, just not for me. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have the total package in a significant other, but you need to find someone that makes you better not just the one that comes off better on paper.

It is a rare find, but they do exist. I found one once but he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, had zero saved for his future, and was afraid of growing up. For most girls this not an ideal match, but the fact that he made me a better person than I ever thought I could be, I don’t think I could ever stop loving him. Will we ever be together again? Who knows, but until then- online dating, I’m here to stay!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The One Who Wanted a Sugar Baby

Time for another round of online dating 
"Did he really just message me that?!"

Yes, I am still participating in online dating shenanigans,
but I'm not as deticated as I used to be. 
It's just so much work to create compelling conversations via messaging, 
plus first dates are so nerve raking and make me want to puke.

But, I'm young, I'm figuring out my life and 
I'm ready to make stupid decisions within my dating life. 
Why stop now? Right?

Once again I began the search for my online dating Prince Charming
and I ran into some interesting contenders... 

Lorefall: "So do you have a job? I need a woman who can support me while I 
play video games all day."

fzfzfzfz: "Do you believe in alien abductions?"

I just left those two alone...

SpringSocial: "You write a blog about how you make an ass out of yourself? 
That I got to read."

So I sent it to him.
He liked it and said we could go on a date as long as I didn't write about him...
Let's just say we didn't make future plans.

Fit-N-Educated: "Well don't you have that sexy nerd thing down."

Sure, I could work with this.
I mean, he IS fit AND educated!

So I looked as his profile under the section 
'I spend a lot of time thinking about...'
His answer?
"the future, space; I'm a thinker and I call it mental-masturbation"

Obviously my kind of man.
But now for my favorite message!

MatthewJ707: "Are you interested in a sugar daddy?"

I'll never forget watching "True Life: I'm a Sugar Baby"
because it was super creepy and gross but at the same time fascinating!

So I responded, obviously,
 but sadly he was attempting to be sarcastic 
because my profile says that I am a very sarcastic person...


(Check out my first round of weird messages here!)