Monday, March 26, 2012

The One Who Was Not My Superman

When I guy calls you Lois Lane, grabs your hand and runs it down his wash board abs 
and makes you check out his intense arm muscles, just walk away...

Yes, of course I experienced this a few nights ago and 
was once again thrown under the bus. 

My guy friend was witness to all of this and did nothing! 
Instead he just laughed and said 

"Yeah you are Lois Lane!"

To which I replied and a snarky manor,
"But you are not my Superman!"

MISTAKE!!

Obviously, this comment gave the buff 45 year old stranger
the impression that I am single, 
which if you have read my blog, you should know the answer to...

So of course I blurted out-

"I have a boy friend!"

As I am saying this, my roommate walks by, 
not completely understanding my desperation with the situation and says-

"No you don't! You're single!"

As I give her the death glare, she just walks away and
all I could do was turn to the guy and politely said
that I have to find my friends but it was nice to meet him. 

Lesson Learned Here: Guys, when you first meet a girl, 
don't force her to feel your ridiculous ripped abs, triceps, biceps, or 
any other muscles you may like to show off. 
Let her find them on her own and she will be much more impressed!

Ladies, when you are out with your roommates, 
maybe give them a heads up that you might play the 'I have a BF card.' 
That way you don't look like a complete ass 
in front of all those freakishly muscular guys out there.


Damn you Petaluma bars...

Monday, March 19, 2012

The One Who Was a Planner

When you are the sober driver for your roommates in Cotati, 
you are the sober driver for any drunk guys your roommates are trying to pick up.

This is where I found myself last Thursday night.

Four guys I was just introduced to by my
slightly intoxicated roommate piled into my car.
On that note: No one should drink and drive people!
Call a cab or sober drive. Thanks :)

Lucky for me, the cutie had shot gun and started a lovely conversation with me 
that just melted my heart...

Guy- "How do I say this without sounding like an ass? You're really pretty."

With an awkward  
I don't know you at all and I am just trying to survive this car ride 
so I can get home and go to bed alone 
 look on my face I said,
"Thank you and you're drunk."

G- "Ok, I'm going to be honest, I'm looking at your boobs right now."

I can't even describe the look on my face after THAT comment...

"Ok, someone's defiantly drunk. Almost home! Yay!"

G- "No, I am only two beers in!"

This is when I realized why I have not interacted with too many 
boys on my campus lately. 

Don't get me wrong, there are some amazing, sweet guys
that I am friends with but the stereotypical college guys are unfortunately 
the poster boys for the majority of my school. 

Once I got these guys home, he asked for my number. 
I said "fine, why not" and this is where the real ridiculousness started...

St. Patrick's Day- 4PM:

G- "Hey what are you up to?"

"Getting some food and drinks with my roommates. You?"

G- "Trying to have fun ;)"

"The whole talking in riddles thing is getting old. Use your words mister."

G- "Are you down to sleep over tonight?"

Keep in mind, this is at 4pm...it is still light outside...

"You're a real planner aren't ya? Only 4pm and you're already setting up your night! 
I'm going out with my roommates tonight, sorry."

G- "Not a planner, just thought I would be straight forward. Fiiiinnnneeee."

It was at that last moment that I realized St. Patrick's Day drinking 
might have gotten to him...

After only a day of being introduced to each other and 
a small amount of texting, he got straight to it. 

Unfortunately he is just not my kind of guy. 
Plus I just really like my space when I sleep. 
Sharing a bed is so cramped and makes it hard to get a good nights sleep, ya know?

But hey, way to put yourself out there!
Props for the forwardness.