Relation-Shit Special: Where Are They Now?

Gearing up for the two year anniversary of Relation-Shits,

I figured why not do a "Where Are They Now?" feature 

explaining what happened with these relation-shits 

after they were blogged about

and if they still even talk to me.

Because I have so many amazing Relation-Shits to look back on,
you're in for a two part series folks!

Enjoy the first 5 flashbacks 
(click on each title to be taken to the flashback blog post)
and watch out for the actual
two year celebration on February 6th
for the rest of my trip down memory lane...

Cheers!

"Where Are They Now?"

Part 1

1) The One Who Kidnapped Me
  

It was sophomore year and I thought he was adorable. 

So adorable that I said yes to a date with him which then led to him kidnapping me...

Either way, adorable guy.

Well, our date was not the last time I saw him.

I figured I would give him a second chance 
since he only kidnapped me and didn't harm me, 

so a friend and I went to a party he was having at his house.

Yes, the house he kidnapped me to- 
I returned but this time with back-up.

My friend and I showed up and he was shit faced. 

Standing in the corner trying to dodge his attempts to get me drunk,

My friend and I witnessed what may have been the most awkward 

party kick outs to happen during our college years...

A guy and two girls (who look way too young) walked in and were obviously not invited.

My kidnapper walked up to them and asked them to leave.

The guy said no and proceeded to finish his beer bong in the middle of the living room.

My kidnapper was not happy about this a started yelling-

"This is my house and I can't be responsible for anyone under 18 

being here with alcohol! I mean look at her!" 

(pointing to the young girls) 

"She HAS braces! She is too young to be here."

At that point, all my friend and I could do was laugh and leave...

The next day I was sitting at home with my roommates telling them of the 

second adventure I had with my kidnapper.

I was just finishing up the "She HAS braces!" line, 

my phone started to ring.

It was him!

I picked up and he said "Were you just talking about me?"

Me: "Ummmm...what?"

"You butt dialed me and I heard the whole conversation. 
You're really embarrassed now huh?"

"No...."

Yes, yes I was.

And that was the last I had heard from him. 

Rumor has it he dropped out of school but that has yet to be confirmed.

I wonder what he is up to now...probably kidnapping more girls on dates.

Near. Far. Where ever you freakin' are. My heart will go on...

2) The One Who Made Out With My Forehead

This is a memory I will hold and cherish forever... 

Not because he is the love of my life but 

because he is my brother from another mother and still a great friend to me-

Even though he makes out with my forehead sometimes...

I have learned to get past it and accept that that is just him.

I have seen pretty much every relationship this boy has had, 

every heartbreak and every flirtatious fail.

But something I have never seen is anyone like him.

He has the ability to take the shittiest of situations 

and do something with them.

Now, it may not always be the right thing or the smart thing

But he keeps putting himself out there to find his true passion in life 

which is something I admire.

He might just be the one Relation-Shit I am happiest to still be in contact with.

So thank you brother for staying by my side these past five years 

and slobbering on my forehead that one time. 

  

3) The One Who Ruined the First Date

Too bad there is not a drunk ass bitch song...

This one takes the cake for me.

As in, I can be one drunk ass bitch sometimes!

Unfortunately, or fortunately for me, I never saw this guy again.

But I did have to see my friend after the incident who told me 

some things about that night I wish I never heard...

While I was too worried about my dignity before, 

I feel like we all know each other well enough for you to hear the real reason 

I was kicked out of that bar...

I tried to flash the bartender.

There, I said it.

I really wanted a drink and the line was too long 

so I figured I would use what my mamma gave me to get ahead in line.

Apparently that is frowned upon in real life as opposed to movies.

So my friend stopped me before I could make that mistake 

but the bouncer saw my failed attempt and figured it was time for me to leave.

So he kicked me out.

Not fully understanding what being kicked out meant, 

I tried to get back in past the bouncer-

"You can't go back in the bar Miss."

Whipping my drivers license out of my clutch-

"But I have my ID!"

He did not take kindly to that and suggested my friend take me home.

Then after attempting to pee in a bush by a cop, 

my friend successfully dropped me off at my apartment in one piece.

Just in time for me to become friendly with my toilet. 

So while I do not know my dates name, what he looks like or where he is,

I will always remember the lessons learned through this experience 

and how to have a sober first date!

4) The One You Can't Let Go Of

Shocker here!

He is still in my life and I have yet to pull a Rose and pry his hands off of mine,

nor do I think I want to just yet...

It is funny looking back on the date I originally blogged about this.

I wrote this blog about a week before I met someone else.

Someone who helped me to get over some of the feelings I had for this guy.

Crazy timing huh?

Well, it obviously did not work.

I still care for this guy and he is still a huge part of my life.

We do the whole- 

'When we're together we are together, 

when we're a part we are a part.'

Not healthy for anyone involved but like I said, he's the one ya can't let go of!
As of right now we are in different states, so that helps...

I mean he eats whole packets of ketchup, passes gas all the time, and snores 

but I guess those are things I appreciate when he is not with me?

Ok, maybe not. 
Maybe I hate all of those things.

But for right now, I'll put up with them.

Who knows if we will ever end up together again but

all I can say is that it's ok to have someone you can't let go of in your life.

Sometimes it is the lesson we learn trying to hold onto them 

that will ultimately help you to let go of them.

5) The One Who Left Me On A Curb/The One Who Called Me Out

Speaking of the person who helped me get over the one I could not let go of...

This guy has made a few appearances in my blog. 

Four to be exact.

I know, how could I be with someone who was four times the Relation-Shit?!

Well, as much as he was the Relation-Shit King,
I only just stopped talking to him a few months ago.

We ended our relationship over a year ago but 
being that girl that holds on to feelings long gone,

we still kept in contact, had lunches, hung out and texted.

BUT this was not one sided. 
He participated in the holding on too.
Just sayin'

A major part of the holding on was him being located fairly close to me.
Thankfully he is fleeing the state to pursue an education! 

He also has a girlfriend now and they seem really good for each other.

My bet is that he proposes or they get married within the next year...

Will it hurt when I see that damn heart pop up on Facebook news feed?

Sadly yes,

but I know we would have never worked out.

I mean, I would have to give up my wine for him!

And you know how much I love my wine!

He is very much so my T-Swizzle Relation-Shit...

Well there you have it.

I talk to some, miss some, would not be able to pick some out of a lineup and 

no longer associate with some.

Relationships are difficult in themselves but 

keeping a friendship after a failed relationship is even harder. 

While it does not always work out, it is well worth the effort.

I loved half of these guys at one point in my life;

it seems silly to throw everything away because of a breakup.

It may take some time but don't give up!

If they are meant to be there for you they will 

and if not, you are better off without them.

Plus, there is still Facebook to keep tabs on what they are up to!

In a non-stalker way of course...

First five down, next five to show up on Wednesday!