The One Who Was Just Not That Into You

Everyone has one of those stories-

When they met someone and convinced themselves it was meant to be,

but the fact was...

they were just not that into you. 

I found myself watching this movie the other night. 

Alone in my house. 

BUT my friend was watching it at the same time at her house.

So, it was like we were watching it together...

Anyways, it made me think back to the men I have dated this past year. 

All the relation-shits. 

All the first and only dates. 

All the awkward conversations.

And all the lessons learned. 

In the short span of one year,

I have met some of the most influential people in my dating life. 

From Eminem lovers who taught me not to jump in too fast...

To the Thursday night bar boy who taught me not to meet guys at the bars...

To an old friend who taught me that sometimes it is best just to stay friends...

I've learned a lot this past year about who I am,

what I want in life

and the men I should avoid.

But nothing can snap you out of the dating daze better then watching

He's Just Not That Into You.

And it all makes you realize that most of your relationship problems stem 

from the horrible advice your parents gave you when you were younger!

Who else heard the whole-

"He is being mean to you and picking on you because he actually likes you."

I remember my mother saying that to me in elementary school 

when a boy was picking on me.

Did anything ever happen with me and that boy?

No.

And I went to school with him all throughout high school...

So thank you mother, 

for getting my hopes up and making me think mean boys were

just covering up intense feelings for me.

Turns out they were just being immature young jerks.

So...when do they grow out of that?

The reason I bring this up is because too often

we find ourselves angry at the flames of our past.

We are pissed that things did not work out and 

we refuse to speak of/to those people again.

I have friends that will literally hide from ex's when they see them at the bars 

because they hate them that much.

But for me, that is not how I want to spend my young adult life-

Constantly avoiding the places I might see someone I used to know

or being afraid of going out anywhere because I might run into them.

 I have been hurt by guys

but in the end, shit happens.

Life is so much easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.

Before the break-ups occurred, you were friends with those people.

They were someone you trusted with almost anything.

Once the angry bashing to your friends is over, 

making amends is healthy.

To this day, 

I am civil enough with my ex's to the point where we can 

have a conversation and not want to kill each other. 

Some may think it is weird, dysfunctional and odd that I remain in contact 

with some of the flames from my past,

but I see it as accepting what happened, 

getting over the hurt 

and going back to finding the friendship that was there before the heartache.

At the end of the day,

do you want to live your life for yourself

or constantly think about how your relation-shits are holding you back?