The One Who Was European

So, I went on a date with The One With a Business Card 
and no, we will not be furthering the relationship...


He is an artist.
But not any old artist.
He is the type of artist where you over pronounce the 'I' in his title.

Let me show you the difference:

Artist: "A person who produces works in any of the arts that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria" - Webster Dictionary

Art[I]st: "A pretentious individual whose art (usually terrible, overly-wordy poetry, but can apply to paintings, prose, etc.) no one 'gets' - Urban Dictionary

Now that we cleared that up, 
I'll give you a little run down of the date. 

Being the punctual person that I am
(and just being paranoid about getting lost and being late)
I arrived to wonderful Oakland about 15 minutes early.
I texted my hopeless romantic to inform him of my earliness and 
that I would be wandering around.

No response.

Our meeting time of 1PM hit and there was no sign
of my tall, dark and handsome Grecian God!
I was being stood up. 
In Oakland!
WTF?!

Have no fear, he pulled through.
Turns out his bike broke so he had to walk...
 And in true European fashion, he greeted me with a *Kiss Kiss*

We took a lovely stroll around the beautiful man-made Oakland lake 
where he referred to himself as an 
art[I]st, filmmaker, poet, and a romantic multiple times. 
Each.

We then took a seat by the lake on a blanket he brought
(all romantics have one on them)
and got to know each other more.

Here is what you need to know about hopeless romantic Greek men 
who give you their business card- 

• They wear scarfs no matter the weather. 
• They talk about themselves and what makes them unique. 
• And they have no shame in their preferred sexual activities.

Yes, sexual activities.

How do I know this?

Oh, because he brought up that part of his life as well. 

Not only do I know all about how his parents met in the states 

but soon moved back to Greece after having him 32 years ago, 

I now know that he is into some interesting stuff.

"I think it is so crazy how Americans are anti PDA. In Europe people are making out everywhere."

Que me freaking out to thinking he was suggesting we make out...

"I mean, I know they are all polygamists and into S&M, but they will never talk about it. Like me. I enjoy orgies and bondage but I can't advertise that because 

Americans are so reserved!"

With a nod of my head, I knew this was never going to work out.

Not because he is open about what he is into,

but because he lives 45 minutes away from me 

and you know, long distance is just so hard these days... 

 But if anyone is into hopeless romantic Greek men 

who are into kinky stuff and can read you some poetry/paint you a picture/

photograph you/make a film about you-

I know a guy...