Special Edition: Because There Is No Fool Like An Ol' Fool

It's rare to find a someone who is liked by his enemies.

Someone who helps all and never lets anything get him down,

even if that thing is about to take his life.

I had the honor of knowing a man like this for 9 short years 

and he taught me lessons that I still carry with me today.

I'd like to introduce you to this man...

He was a coach, an athlete, a teacher, a son, a brother, a husband, an uncle, 

a best friend and a father.

Today is his birthday and I wanted to honor him by sharing some of his life lessons.

He may not have had all of the answers, especially when it came to Relation-Shits,

 but damn did he make some good points...

Cheers-

Lesson #1:

"If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life." -P.S.

Why waste your time working a job you hate?

Life is too short to spend it doing something that makes you miserable. 

Find something you love, that makes you wake up in the morning not hating life.

That is the dream job.

He found this in teaching, which as you know is not the biggest money maker

 but that didn't stop him from working after the bell rang.

He put his all into teaching each student life lessons, 

not just what was in the text or how to win a basketball game. 

Make the most out of your job and don't stop where your job description ends.

Make it your own and you'll never work a day in your life.

Lesson #2:

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out" -John Wooden

 John Wooden was his hero on and off the court, 

so it is no wonder he applied his lessons to his life as well. 

He taught everyone around him that it does not matter what happens to you, 

what matters is how you react to it.

And no one knew how to turn a shitty situation into a positive one more than this man.

He battled colon cancer and would constantly say-

"What am I going to do? Sit around and cry about it?"

Lesson #3:

“The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” 

- John Wooden

Now, I don't have many long lasting relationships to look up to in my life, 

but one that would have lasted forever was the one he had with the love of his life.

Never have I heard such stories of love for ones significant other or children.

It is rare to find a man who enjoys staying home with the children, 
taking them for bike rides, dancing like a fool in the living room with them or 
teaching them how to play any and every sport.

He just genuinely loved being a dad and 
he showed his children that you can be a great dad and a great husband.

One does not have to be sacrificed.

Now, you may be wondering,

"Who the hell is this guy?! He sounds super amazing! 
I would totally want to be BFF's with him!"

Well, this man I am speaking of is Paul Sutton, 

my dad and one of the biggest inspirations in my life.

I strive everyday to make him proud and not completely embarrass the Sutton name...

but if you know me, you know I can be pretty embarrassing.

Now that you know I am related to this great man, 

you must be thinking this is all bias...

 No.

A wonderful writer from the LA Times named Mike Bresnahan 
wrote numerous articles about my dad in the 90's. 
One article said he was  
"known less for his record as boys' basketball coach than for teaching life lessons 
to [his] students in his 14 years at the school." 

(Back in the day...even at 5'10 he ruled the court)

 One of his best friends Dan the Man said-  
"He just won with the talent he had. He did it the way it was supposed to be done--
the right way, for the right reasons. He didn't do it for the headlines. 
He did it for the players."

And even a rival basketball coach could not find fault -

"He was a masterful coach...He was good to the young coaches...

veteran coaches were inspired by the fact that they had to do everything they could to beat him. He was so innovative, we all used him as a resource. 

And there really wasn't an ego." 

When he ran out of sick days, 
teachers and coaches practically lined up to donate their sick days to him.

"Sutton needs to be remembered as a coach who won 166 games and three league titles, and for realizing that what happened off the court was infinitely more important."

And it showed, with a 700-person reception after his funeral, 
you knew he made an impact on people's lives. 
Not just as a teacher, but as a friend and a mentor.

So honor those teachers and individuals who go beyond their job
and show you that we don't always live in a nine to five world.

Appreciate those around you and let them know you would do anything for them.
Don't let competition deteriorate a friendship and always be a gracious loser,
even when it pains you to shake the hand of a winner.

Always look on the bright side of things no matter how much life sucks,
and never shy away from being an ol' fool. 
Life is too short to hide your crazy self.

Happy 55th Birthday ya ol' fool.
Cheers to you and good old Van the Man!

Van Morrison (aka Van the Man)- "Brown Eyed Girl"

The One Who Was a YouTuber

You meet people in the most unlikely places...

Especially when you are accompanied by your mother.

This past weekend I went home to SoCal for a short vacation.

My mother and I decided to go out for some lunch at the Macaroni Grill, 

yes the place where you can draw on tables...

Our waiter comes up to us and looks oddly familiar. 

While I tried to figure out who he looked like, 

he starts talking about how 24 is SO old and 

that he has already seen so much in his short life.

"In the last few years I have been through two girl friends and one orgy."

My mother being the cool, hip chick that she is, responds by saying-

"Only one orgy?!"

I buried my head in my menu and tried to change the subject to my lunch order

before he or my mother could go any farther with the orgy talk.

 Once we started to order, I realized who he looked like!

Andy Samberg!

For those of you who don't know who that is, I am embarrassed for you.

Only the best of the Lonely Island trio and is a hilarious SNL alum.

Here, take a look-

(Yes, this is my jam)

 So of course I had to ask him about it!

"I'm sure you get this a lot, but do people tell you that you look like Andy Samberg?"

"Yes they do. I actually have a YouTube video of me in Time Square pretending to be him. Here's my YouTube name."

Thankfully you can write on the tables and he shared his YouTube name with us. 

As he walked away, my mother was already trying to find it.

I think he pulled it off pretty well...

 

So being the very funny guy that he is and being the very single girl that I am,

my mothers first thought was-

"You guys should totally date!"

Because any guy will do at this point in her eyes.

But unfortunately she did not keep this thought to herself...

"You should totally date my daughter. Haaaavvvvvvveeee you met Ali?"

Yes, she pulled the How I Met Your Mother line, 

which, if you recall from this blog post, 

did not work out too well for me in the past. 

With awkward laughs all around, he told me to stalk him on YouTube 

(he is a professional YouTuber. I know, so cool.), 

Facebook and Instagram. 

So what do I do?

What he told me to do of course!

How else am I going to get into the YouTuber circle just so I can meet DailyGrace?!

So now our friendship is FBO,

which you know I take very seriously...

Can't wait for the Relation-Shit blogger and the Hydration=Happiness Vlogger 

to become BFF's!

Check out his videos and go stalk him on social media, he loves the attention-

http://www.youtube.com/user/sidneyraz

Oh, and sorry ladies/gentlemen/readers- rumor has it he's taken. 
And no, not by me.
On to the next vlogger!

The One Who Was European

So, I went on a date with The One With a Business Card 
and no, we will not be furthering the relationship...


He is an artist.
But not any old artist.
He is the type of artist where you over pronounce the 'I' in his title.

Let me show you the difference:

Artist: "A person who produces works in any of the arts that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria" - Webster Dictionary

Art[I]st: "A pretentious individual whose art (usually terrible, overly-wordy poetry, but can apply to paintings, prose, etc.) no one 'gets' - Urban Dictionary

Now that we cleared that up, 
I'll give you a little run down of the date. 

Being the punctual person that I am
(and just being paranoid about getting lost and being late)
I arrived to wonderful Oakland about 15 minutes early.
I texted my hopeless romantic to inform him of my earliness and 
that I would be wandering around.

No response.

Our meeting time of 1PM hit and there was no sign
of my tall, dark and handsome Grecian God!
I was being stood up. 
In Oakland!
WTF?!

Have no fear, he pulled through.
Turns out his bike broke so he had to walk...
 And in true European fashion, he greeted me with a *Kiss Kiss*

We took a lovely stroll around the beautiful man-made Oakland lake 
where he referred to himself as an 
art[I]st, filmmaker, poet, and a romantic multiple times. 
Each.

We then took a seat by the lake on a blanket he brought
(all romantics have one on them)
and got to know each other more.

Here is what you need to know about hopeless romantic Greek men 
who give you their business card- 

• They wear scarfs no matter the weather. 
• They talk about themselves and what makes them unique. 
• And they have no shame in their preferred sexual activities.

Yes, sexual activities.

How do I know this?

Oh, because he brought up that part of his life as well. 

Not only do I know all about how his parents met in the states 

but soon moved back to Greece after having him 32 years ago, 

I now know that he is into some interesting stuff.

"I think it is so crazy how Americans are anti PDA. In Europe people are making out everywhere."

Que me freaking out to thinking he was suggesting we make out...

"I mean, I know they are all polygamists and into S&M, but they will never talk about it. Like me. I enjoy orgies and bondage but I can't advertise that because 

Americans are so reserved!"

With a nod of my head, I knew this was never going to work out.

Not because he is open about what he is into,

but because he lives 45 minutes away from me 

and you know, long distance is just so hard these days... 

 But if anyone is into hopeless romantic Greek men 

who are into kinky stuff and can read you some poetry/paint you a picture/

photograph you/make a film about you-

I know a guy...

The One With the Wrong Number

 "Sorry, you have the wrong number..."

Something I am sure most of you have said at one point in your life.

But what about people who text you that have the wrong number?

First you think, what DID I do last night at the bars?!

Or, who the hell gave out my number? 

This recently happened to a cousin of mine 
and of course the first person she blames is the girl with a relation-shit blog...

Sarah: "Did you give my number to some guy named Mark?"

Me: "I don't think so...did he say he knows me?"

"No. I am in the weirdest situation."

She forwarded me their conversation and all I can say is
pass along my number to him!

Wrong Number: "Hi Again."

Sarah: "Who is this?"

"This is Mark. Still up for helping me with some advice? 
And how's the puppy? Better today?"

Sarah: "I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank. Mark who?"

"Um, is this Audrey?"

"No, this is Sarah."

At that point, I would think most people would end the conversation with the stranger, 
but no. 
I think they became best friends...

Wrong Number: "Ok, I'm feeling really stupid now. 
Have you had any calls for her before?"

Sarah: "No, I haven't had any calls for Audrey but 
I do have a puppy and he was really sick last week...this is very odd."

 "That is weird. Well, are you good at relationship advice? ha ha"

"I guess I could try and give some advice."

Yup, best friend status.

Wrong Number: "This is funny but OK...do you think there are times when it's better not to tell the whole truth?"

Sarah: "It depends on the situation. What didn't you tell the truth about?"

"I'm not sure how much to say about this since I don't know you. 
Are you easily offended?"

"No."

I would be very scared at this point in the conversation...

Wrong Number: "We were talking about fantasies and she asked what my biggest one is. 
But honestly, it's about a threesome. I know that's really bad."

Sadly, this is where the conversation ended,
besides some last minute information he provided.

Like the fact that he is 47...
Oh, and married.

But of course since this happened to her and the area code was from around me, 
I get the blame!

Sarah: "I totally thought you met some weirdo guy and as a joke gave him my number!"

No people, I do not give out someone elses number
when a random ass guy approaches me and asks for one. 

I either provide my actual number, say no thank you,
or go with 867-5309.

Try it sometime...

As long as you don't sing it to them, it should work.

The One With A Business Card

With all of the ridiculous situations I have been in/put myself in,

I started to think the possibility of a romantic man was out the window.

Turns out he was just out on the streets of San Francisco! 

Let's take this back to Valentine's Day.

I won radio tickets to a "Bitter Ball" in SF for V-Day

and since myself and the majority of my friends are single, 

we made the journey out to the city that night.

With our club outfits on, we were ready to hit the town 
and enjoy a live performance by Icona Pop.

We were waiting to cross the street to the club 
and there was a guy on a bike behind us.

We made eye contact for a second and I turned back around 
not thinking anything of it.

Next thing I know, there was a tap on my shoulder.
It was the bike guy!

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful."

With my standard, awkward "Thank you" I turned back around.

My friend laughed and screamed, "It's her skirt!"

And he responded back, "No, it's her eyes!"

 

The light finally turned and my friends and I crossed the street to get in line for the club.

 As we waited to get in, the guy on the bike rolled up and said

"I just had to come back and give this to you."

He handed me his business card and biked away.

Is this real life?!

I was shocked by his boldness 

and due to the fact that he didn't creep me out or make me feel uncomfortable, 

I thought, why not give him a chance?

After a great night in SF filled with dancing, singing and drinking, and good vibes,
the next day I decided to text him-

"Hey this is the girl you gave your card to the other night. I applaud your boldness."

So there was my short, sweet and to the point text,
and then there is his...

"Thanks. It was the day, it was your eyes. I'm a hopeless romantic. There is no real connection in the digital era we live in. It used to be that just a warm 
captivating glance was all someone needed. I applaud your smile."

Can you say swoon?!

I asked him what he was doing in SF that night and he said-

"A retrospective of avant garde radical Japanese films at the SF Yerba Buena Center."

Ok, how do I compete with that?!?

While he was being all hipster/artistic as shit, 

I was drinking cheap rum and watching my friend drop it low with five guys at once.

I have a feeling our worlds are very, very different...

Either way, we have made plans to meet up and I can only imagine 
the sweet, artistic, heart melting words he will say in person!

Update to come later...

Until then, enjoy some Icona Pop!

 "I'm from the 90's bitch!"