The One Who Ordered Diet

My roommates and I obviously do not have the best of luck with guys. 

If you have not gathered that from my blog by now, 

then you might want to reevaluate why you spend your time even reading it.

I have good news this time!

FINALLY, one of my roommates found a nice guy! 

He is cute, polite and just a genuine person. 

Yes, they do exist at our school! 

Shocker, I know.

There was only one problem with this guy…he ordered the wrong soda…

Here is the breakdown of the date as told by my roommate-

"So first we get into his car and there is no music! How awkward is that?!! 

So we just made random small talk. I was just hoping it would get less weird 

once we go to the restaurant, but it was worse...."

With confused looks on our faces, my roommates and I waited to hear what 

was so horrible about the date-

"So we were getting ready to order our drinks and I got a coke of course, but get this-" (said in the most irritated, disgusting voice you can imagine)

Sitting at the edge of our seats, we were not ready for what came next-

"He order a DIET Pepsi! Soooo gross! Who orders Pepsi let alone diet?!"

Jaws dropped and silent for a moment, 

my roommates and I crack up at the ridiculousness 

of her story to which she continued with-

"It was over at that moment and I was just ready to just go home..."

Needless to say, she did not go on another date with this guy 

but we do still see him from time to time and
refuse to provide him with diet soda...

So, bitches or just die hard Coca-Cola fans?

The One With the Best Pick-Up Line

Location: Small town bar.

Targets: Me and my roommate.

Pickup Line: One for the record books-

Sitting at a table drinking some beers, my roommate and I were approach by a cute boy.

Thinking he will pull the usually "Do you go to school around here" line, 

we were not prepared mentally for the direction it went.

Boy: "Hey ladies! So who are you going to vote for in the 2012 elections?"

With confused, "I am not sure where this came from" looks on our faces, 

my roommate took one for the team. The wrong team...

"Ummmm, Joe Biden"

Boy: "The Vice President...? OK..."

Trying to make a semi come back...I said

"Totally voting for Stephen Colbert."

To which he responded with a high five. 

Well that kept him around long enough to ask my roommate to dance, 

only to leave us for the wild and crazy 40 year old woman 

who danced like she had ants in her pants. 

To each their own right?

Lesson learned- always be prepared for any pick-up lines out there ladies! 

Obviously, this may include Presidential Election questions.

So, it might be a good idea to read up on who is actually running!

Now roommate, who are you going to vote for?!

The One Who Was Honest

When a guys text begins with-

"You're an awesome girl, but..."

DON'T READ ON!

 IT'S A TRICK! 

 HE DOES NOT REALLY THINK YOU ARE AN AWESOME GIRL!

 HE IS NOT ABOUT TO ASK YOU OUT AGAIN!

Let's go back about a week with this story.

Thursday. 

After finals. 

Last Thirsty Thursday to experience before break. 

 Of course everyone at our school is at the bars that night.

Geared up in our best small town bar outfits, 

me and my roommates were on the prowl.

One of my roommates was already talking to some guy's, so I went over to say hi.

Turns out one of the guys was in a class of mine. 

Small school. 

Small town. 

Only bar strip. 

It was bound to happen. 

We began talking about how much we like Leonardo DiCaprio.

While I may not remember all of the conversation...

I DO know enough to say that it was a gosh darn good conversation!

Here is a little taste- 

Me: "I WILL marry Leo one day!"

Guy: "You should call me when you do!"

"Of course I will"

"Well you need my number to do that. It's...."

Smooth move right?! 

Totally fell for it too. 

My life...

As the night progressed and the drinks flowed, 

we began to talk about hanging out later that week.

With a kiss goodbye and a very graceful walk to the cab 

(Don't drink and drive) 

I made my way home with all of my roommates only to gush about what happened.

The next morning, I had a text from my bar guy and we set up a dinner date.

The day finally came and 

I was ready to go on a great date with a great guy!

He picked me up, 

came to my door to greet me and 

whisked me off to a nice dinner.

Conversation flowed well and I was sure this would lead 

to something that I have not had in a while.

A second date!

Two days later, he texted me to see how my day was. 

Good sign right? 

Guess not...

Me: "It's good. Where you interested in hanging out again?"

Guy: "You're an awesome girl, but I am not really looking for anything right now."

Annnnnnnd the heart sunk...

When will this whole second date thing happen?!? 

I am starting to think they do not exist.

So while this ended up to be a relation-shit, 

I did appreciate his honesty, even if it was not what I wanted to hear. 

I responded very politely by saying-

"Thank you for your honesty. Most guys would not do that. 

I had a nice time with you and hope we can still hang out as friends."

But what I was REALLY thinking-

"Who the hell has THAT good of a conversation about Leo, 

takes a girl on a sushi dinner date and 

then decides to tell her you're not looking for anything?!?! Tool."

Oh boy's. You're killing me.

The One Who Left Me On The Curb

Once again, I have encountered another relation-shit.

How they keep finding me, I have no idea. 

But hey, at least it makes for good stories. 

Am I right?

It all started while I was visiting a friend in Northern California. 

I met (what I thought) was the "perfect guy." 

An anti-relation-shit. 

Someone who would break the trend that I am so good at following.

We hit it off right away. 

Once we realized our mutual love and obsession for Eminem
(the rapper, not the candy),

we knew we would get along just fine.

Plus he was not too bad looking and had the same sarcastic humor as me
that most guys I hang out with just can't keep up with.

So while my friend was at work, this boy was nice enough to hang out with me. 

We went to the local dairy farm and got some ice cream. 

So far so good with this one,
but then he gets a call from his ex...

He just told me they broke up a few months ago and 

that she has things he wanted back. 

Well this was the call in which they needed to discuss this issue. 

Right at that moment. 

While I was with him.

He took the call with an awkward, 

'I really need to take this call, but I feel bad leaving you, 
but I kind of have no choice' look on his face. 

Since I am so easy going, 

I said "It's all good, I'll just chill here."

So he walked across the street to have the, "give me my shit back" talk. 

While I sat on the curb. 

Eating my ice cream.

Alone.

For 20 minutes.

For whatever reason, I continued to hang out with this boy up until just recently. 

Apparently being ditched on a curb, alone, will not raise a red flag to me anymore.

I guess I must be getting use to this whole relation-shit thing,

so much so that I don't even realize I am in one until it's too late.

Should have seen that puppy comin'...

The One Without Boundaries

Fortunately, or unfortunately for my blog, I have not had any horrible dates recently. 

Well let's be honest, I have had NO dates recently, 

so not too much to blog about with my personal love life.

I do however live with two boys, which makes for some good reltaion-shit situations.

This particular one involves my 19 year old brother

who has not learned the meaning of personal space or boundaries. 

So I guess with this situation it is a sibling-shit, and when I say shit, I mean literally...

This all took place a few weeks ago. 

I was brushing my teeth in our shared bathroom and my brother walks in,
 

Pulls down his pants,

And sits on the toilet.

Tooth brush still in mouth I yell, 

 "Are you taking a shit while I am in here brushing my teeth?!?!"

"Yes, now can you please get out so I can have some privacy?"

"What the hell?!?! That's disgusting! I'm brushing my teeth!"

"Well you should have thought about doing that after I was done..."

Trying to run out of the death trap as fast as I could, 

I ran to my room to tell my friend what just happened to me.

Her response, "Man I'm glad I don't have to live here..."

This is my life. 

A brother I have to live with who does not 

give a shit about my personal bubble.

Only a few more weeks until I leave for school and it could not come fast enough.