The One Who Was My Formal Date

Being in a sorority has its perks, like being able to go to formals again.

While they are the highlight of the year, 

they sometimes come with some stressful situations. 

Like finding a date.

I have learned a lot through this recent formal season, especially when it comes to reserving a date...

Here are some things I have learned through this process that those attending formal next year might want to look out for-

People To Avoid Asking To Formal:

- If they have to ask their mother, chances are they cannot attend...

- If the first thing they ask you is if they will be spending the night, chances are they will be groping you all night...

- If they hesitate when you bring up the idea of formal, chances are it's not their scene...

- If they have the tendency to not follow through on plans, chances are something will come up right before formal...
- If they don't live in the area, chances are they won't drive 6 hours to come to formal...

If any of these scenarios occur during your formal date search, 

your best bet is taking a close friend, and in my case, it was my meatball. 

Who would have thought finding a date would be so hard! 

Well if you're me, it is one hell of a challenge that I was not prepared for. 

Being left dateless with 9 days to spare (yes he had a pretty good excuse)

I figured it was time to bring in the meatball. 

It was my last formal and thankfully I had a great time!

Yes, it was a shit show, but those are the things that make for great stories, right?

Thank you meatball for being such a great date!

 And thank you to all the males that taught me to always have a back up!
Or in my case, five...

The One Who Said He Knew Me

My college is small or at least it seems that way.
Most people know you or at least recognize you from around campus
and can say they know of you. 

Most of the time, if I know someone but they do not seem to know me, 

I don't say anything.

Last Thursday though, I met one brave soul
who let me know that he had seen me before,
thus creating some beautiful memories...

Two guys came up to me and my friend at the local bars-

"Hey, it's my friends birthday!"

Me and my friend: "Awesome, happy birthday. Nice to meet you."

Shaking the birthday boys hand, he looks at me and says, 

"I know you."

With an awkward, 'was I drunk and don't remember you' look on my face, I said-

 "I don't know you...have we met before?"

"Well no, but you work at the advising center."

"Oh, did I advise you?"

"No, I walked by and I saw you there once and
was like daaaaaayyyyyymmmmmmmmnnnnn!"

Once again, with an awkward, 'you are really shit faced right now' look on my face,
I said, "Thanks?"

"Do you want to drink?"

At that point, what more could you do besides just say yes and 

try to get to know this stranger a little better?

Once at the bar, he was informed that the ever so popular $2 Corona was sold out. 

Ordering another beer, he still pulls out $2, only to be informed
by the bartender that the beer he was getting me was actually $3.25.

I could see the pain in his eyes as he reached back into his wallet.

While he is handing me the beer, he says-

"I don't know why I just bought that for you."

What are you suppose to say to that?!

Thank you? WTF? High five?
I chose to say, "Well you're just an awesome guy I guess..."

Obviously we parted ways soon after that as we both had to go find our friends.

In my overall experience, I did find myself one beer richer and
more aware of how small my school is and that everyone probably "knows you."

So be careful out there, especially when you're out at the bars,
you never know who may by watching you...dun dun dunnnnn.

The One In a Suit

Once again, Friars provided top notch guys with great pick up lines...

this time it was at least a man in a suit.

"Hey ladies, I work for the government."

With an awkward look on my face and my friends, we said,

"Oh really, that's cool."

"Yeah, but I am not an assassin or anything so don't worry."

Me: "Oh thank goodness because I was nervous there for a second."

"Yeah, I'm a school teacher. History."

Now, when someone says they work for the government, 

that is not the first thing that pops into my head, but maybe that is just me.

Still standing there in silence after our short conversation had ended, 

he looked around awkwardly and then just stared at us. 

Keep in mind that I am one of the most awkward individuals out there, 

so when I feel awkward in a situation like this, it must be bad. 

Finally saying goodbye and walking away, 

we see him five minutes later being escorted out of the bar for being too drunk. 

It was 10:30PM...too hard core for me.  

The One Who Was Not My Superman

When I guy calls you Lois Lane, grabs your hand and runs it down his wash board abs 

and makes you check out his intense arm muscles, just walk away...

Yes, of course I experienced this a few nights ago and 

was once again thrown under the bus. 

My guy friend was witness to all of this and did nothing! 

Instead he just laughed and said 

"Yeah you are Lois Lane!"

To which I replied and a snarky manor,

"But you are not my Superman!"

MISTAKE!!

Obviously, this comment gave the buff 45 year old stranger
the impression that I am single, 

which if you have read my blog, you should know the answer to...

So of course I blurted out-

"I have a boy friend!"

As I am saying this, my roommate walks by, 

not completely understanding my desperation with the situation and says-

"No you don't! You're single!"

As I give her the death glare, she just walks away and
all I could do was turn to the guy and politely said
that I have to find my friends but it was nice to meet him. 

Lesson Learned Here: Guys, when you first meet a girl, 
don't force her to feel your ridiculous ripped abs, triceps, biceps, or 
any other muscles you may like to show off. 

Let her find them on her own and she will be much more impressed!

Ladies, when you are out with your roommates, 

maybe give them a heads up that you might play the 'I have a BF card.' 

That way you don't look like a complete ass 
in front of all those freakishly muscular guys out there.


Damn you Petaluma bars...

The One Who Was a Planner

When you are the sober driver for your roommates in Cotati, 

you are the sober driver for any drunk guys your roommates are trying to pick up.

This is where I found myself last Thursday night.

Four guys I was just introduced to by my
slightly intoxicated roommate piled into my car.

On that note: No one should drink and drive people!
Call a cab or sober drive. Thanks :)

Lucky for me, the cutie had shot gun and started a lovely conversation with me 

that just melted my heart...

Guy- "How do I say this without sounding like an ass? You're really pretty."

With an awkward  

I don't know you at all and I am just trying to survive this car ride 

so I can get home and go to bed alone 

 look on my face I said,

"Thank you and you're drunk."

G- "Ok, I'm going to be honest, I'm looking at your boobs right now."

I can't even describe the look on my face after THAT comment...

"Ok, someone's defiantly drunk. Almost home! Yay!"

G- "No, I am only two beers in!"

This is when I realized why I have not interacted with too many 

boys on my campus lately. 

Don't get me wrong, there are some amazing, sweet guys

that I am friends with but the stereotypical college guys are unfortunately 

the poster boys for the majority of my school. 

Once I got these guys home, he asked for my number. 

I said "fine, why not" and this is where the real ridiculousness started...

St. Patrick's Day- 4PM:

G- "Hey what are you up to?"

"Getting some food and drinks with my roommates. You?"

G- "Trying to have fun ;)"

"The whole talking in riddles thing is getting old. Use your words mister."

G- "Are you down to sleep over tonight?"

Keep in mind, this is at 4pm...it is still light outside...

"You're a real planner aren't ya? Only 4pm and you're already setting up your night! 

I'm going out with my roommates tonight, sorry."

G- "Not a planner, just thought I would be straight forward. Fiiiinnnneeee."

It was at that last moment that I realized St. Patrick's Day drinking 

might have gotten to him...

After only a day of being introduced to each other and 
a small amount of texting, he got straight to it. 

Unfortunately he is just not my kind of guy. 

Plus I just really like my space when I sleep. 
Sharing a bed is so cramped and makes it hard to get a good nights sleep, ya know?

But hey, way to put yourself out there!
Props for the forwardness.