The One Who Wanted To Be Blogged

The other night I ventured out to the Cotati bars finally!
Only took me 3 months...

But don't worry, I was not on a blind date nor was I drinking!

Learned my lesson there which you can read about in *this blog.*

So while in one of the bars, a member of my class approached me, slightly very wasted

and told me he wanted to be in my blog.

"Can I take you out on a date and then you can write about it in your blog?!"

Me: "What?"

"Your blog is one of the blog's I actually read each week!"

Me: "Thank you but why would you want to go on a date and 

hope it's a good Relation-Shit story?"

"I'll take you out to Chili's and buy you a margarita!"

When someone asks you out on a date so they can be put in a Relation-Shit blog, 

you can only imagine what kind of date it will be...

I was not sure how to process this one. 

While feeling a little insulted that I was being used just so he may 

gain extreme popularity through one of my blog entries, 

I was also excited that someone is actually reading my blog!

Plus who would want to pass up a Chili's dinner and a margarita which apparently 

is the perfect match for a Relation-Shit date. 

So, is it sad that all I need is food and booze to ruin a date 

OR

charming that he already had it planned? 

Not sure which one it is yet, but since I have sworn off alcohol AND dates,

I said I would stick to blogging other people's relation-shits for now. 

But this story was just too funny NOT to blog about.

Plus, he did say he wanted to be in a blog entry. 

So here ya go! You made it in! 

Maybe not what you thought would be the reason, but let's not get picky here! :)

The One Who Games

Mini Relation-Shit

Tonight everyone and their mom are out doing something random,
which left me at home to fend for myself.

Well of course I did not want to sit at home alone and do nothing!

So, I texted a good friend of mine to see if he wanted to chill and watch a movie. 

This was his response-

"I'm suppose to scrimmage with my clan sometime tonight."

I think I need to make more friends who don't game...

Friend-Shit much? 

The One Who Ruined The First Date

Ever gotten shit-faced on a first date?

No? Well that makes one of us then...

Who does that?! 

I mean really, why would someone become a drunk ass bitch
in front of a potential second date? 

Well unfortunately I am not as smart as I look 

(it's the glasses, I know, they are deceiving) 

and I had a little too much "fun" on a recent date my good friend Jacob set up for me.

And this is how the story goes- Jacob and his wife had the great idea 

of setting me up with one of their friends, because my love life
basically consists of relation-shits.

First advice when going a first date- don't go to a beer festival followed by three bars. 

Drinking too much on the first date may cause you to do things you regret the next day. 

Just saying.

Needless to say, we went to a beer festival. 

And when I say we, I mean the guy and Jacob. 

Yes, last minute his wife was not able to make it to our double date. 

You would think "poor Jacob," but don't you worry, bro's before ho's. 

After going through about 15 different types of beer and 
trying to get in between him and Jacob enough to fit in awkward 
"first date" conversation, we decided to do what else? 

Drink more!

We ended up in Santa Rosa for our first bar, in which we met 
up with some of my dates friends. 

Ignored by my date while he conversed among his friends, 

I began to bond with people around us and that is where the trouble started. 

When you bond with people at a bar,
they tend to want to buy double shots to celebrate your new found friendship. 

I became a victim of this ritual.

After some drinks, myself, Jacob and my date moved onto the next bar
where it really all went down hill. 

Unfortunately I am not able to tell you most of what happened 
due to my dignity wanting to stay in tact

but I am sure I would want to forget i anyways so why make it permanent in a blog?

Thankfully my good old friend Jacob was there to help a buddy out
while my date vanished 

never to be seen (or heard) from again...
Yes, I was under the influence AND dateless. 

Relation-Shit!

So after being asked to leave the bar by the bouncer,
yes, I was kicked out,

I was then helped six blocks to the car and driven home where 
some how I climbed three flights of stairs to my apartment. 

This is where my *key* became a victim itself. 

Not sure how that went down, but may it rest in peace. 

The bright side of it all is that I made it home!

The downsides however over shadows the ups unfortunately. 

I mysteriously contracted the stomach flu that night and the entire next day,
along with having over a week pass since that night and 
hearing no feedback from my date. 

Relation-shits happen but it is these shitty moments that 
you truly appreciate you friends, in my case Jacob, 
who will put up with drunk ass bitches and 

make sure they do not do anything to ruin their reputation or dignity. 

So while I may have ruined a first date, 
I did gain a better friendship in the end.

P.S. If you are ever in a bar in Santa Rosa and you see a black scarf 
with little tassels at the end of each side, 
bring it back to me would ya? 
It's my favorite. 
Thanks. 

**A few weeks after this blog, my friend decided to coin the term-
"Let's party like it's a first date!"
Now he says this every time we go to a party...My life.**