The One That Was OUR Valentine

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have found the perfect man!

He cooks, he looks good in a suit and he knows how to charm the ladies.

Who is this man you may ask?

None other than David Christopher Sally.

(Facebook him, I am sure he would love to meet you!)

You may think I have found my one true love, 
but don't worry, he is still single. 

He just showed me and my meatball roommate a

beautiful Valentine's Day when we thought we would be spending it alone. 

It all started about a week ago when he posted on Facebook

"Any one free on Feb 14th? And a female?"

To which my roommate and I responded 

"Our entire Sideways household is! Do you cook?"

"Yes, what do you like?"

"Well...lamb chops, mashed potatoes, green beans, a side salad and 

bread and chocolate covered strawberries. Oh yeah, and wine."

"Check, check, check, check, check, check & check. 

Do I need to make two trails of roses to the bedroom 

or can you and [meatball] share one?"

Not only was all of the above provided 

(minus green beans...we had broccoli)
 He picked us up, suited up, set up a beautiful table 

as well as presented us with roses.

He pulled out our chairs and we began to feast but 

were soon distracted by the rose petals that led to his bedroom.

Side note: My roommate and I have really only hung out with David 

a few times and don't know him that well...

We continued to eat the meal he slaved over all day,
enjoyed some wine and slightly awkward yet hilarious conversation.

He attempted to get us to join him in his bedroom, 
where he made a heart out of rose pedals,
but we were only willing to take some pictures 
to document the night. 
That way we will always remember Valentine's Day 2012.

So men out there, take a chance on love!

A simple Facebook status may be the difference between a night alone 
and a night with two great girls!

While it may not end in anything more than a stronger friendship,

how could that be a bad thing?!

So Happy Valentine's Day from the Relation-shit girl.

Yes, I do in fact believe in love, relationships and Valentine's Day. 

I just have not found that special someone yet...

 

But seriously, contact him, he is a great guy ;)

The One Who Called Me Out

I started this blog because I had to. 

It was a class assignment and we were required to choose a topic 

to write a post about each week. 

Never did I think I would be continuing it a year after the class 

or still be bombarded with relation-shits to write about a year later either. 

While I have had some people approach me saying they follow my blog 

and have enjoyed the humor in it, I recently ran into the opposite reaction.

I was talking to someone I had a relationship/shit with and 

he was not a fan of the blog.
Guess I can't please everyone here.

Lesson learned!

He said something that struck me in a way that ALMOST made me 

consider ending my relation-shits. 

Buuuuuuuut, I just have too much fun with it to stop...

So in the middle of our heated discussion, he said-

"Has it ever hit you that relation-shits may not be the guys fault...

that women judge on a biased standard expecting to get the best for less?"

I want to lay something out here. 

While the majority of my stories consist of males aiding in the shitty part of relationships

(which, considering I am a heterosexual female, makes a little sense) 

I want to make it clear that I am not blaming the male species for causing relation-shits.

I love guys, obviously, but I am as much to blame 

for my relationships gone wrong. As are all females in this world. 

We learn from our mistakes and try our best not repeat them next time around 

but we should also be able to make fun of ourselves for messing up!

Which in my case, I blog. 

So, I want to apologize to all the men out there that I convinced 

were the one and only reason for relation-shits. 

Girls obviously mess up too, but I guess the difference is 

that we can see the humor in it and write some kick ass blogs ;)

The One Who Ordered Diet

My roommates and I obviously do not have the best of luck with guys. 

If you have not gathered that from my blog by now, 

then you might want to reevaluate why you spend your time even reading it.

I have good news this time!

FINALLY, one of my roommates found a nice guy! 

He is cute, polite and just a genuine person. 

Yes, they do exist at our school! 

Shocker, I know.

There was only one problem with this guy…he ordered the wrong soda…

Here is the breakdown of the date as told by my roommate-

"So first we get into his car and there is no music! How awkward is that?!! 

So we just made random small talk. I was just hoping it would get less weird 

once we go to the restaurant, but it was worse...."

With confused looks on our faces, my roommates and I waited to hear what 

was so horrible about the date-

"So we were getting ready to order our drinks and I got a coke of course, but get this-" (said in the most irritated, disgusting voice you can imagine)

Sitting at the edge of our seats, we were not ready for what came next-

"He order a DIET Pepsi! Soooo gross! Who orders Pepsi let alone diet?!"

Jaws dropped and silent for a moment, 

my roommates and I crack up at the ridiculousness 

of her story to which she continued with-

"It was over at that moment and I was just ready to just go home..."

Needless to say, she did not go on another date with this guy 

but we do still see him from time to time and
refuse to provide him with diet soda...

So, bitches or just die hard Coca-Cola fans?

The One With the Best Pick-Up Line

Location: Small town bar.

Targets: Me and my roommate.

Pickup Line: One for the record books-

Sitting at a table drinking some beers, my roommate and I were approach by a cute boy.

Thinking he will pull the usually "Do you go to school around here" line, 

we were not prepared mentally for the direction it went.

Boy: "Hey ladies! So who are you going to vote for in the 2012 elections?"

With confused, "I am not sure where this came from" looks on our faces, 

my roommate took one for the team. The wrong team...

"Ummmm, Joe Biden"

Boy: "The Vice President...? OK..."

Trying to make a semi come back...I said

"Totally voting for Stephen Colbert."

To which he responded with a high five. 

Well that kept him around long enough to ask my roommate to dance, 

only to leave us for the wild and crazy 40 year old woman 

who danced like she had ants in her pants. 

To each their own right?

Lesson learned- always be prepared for any pick-up lines out there ladies! 

Obviously, this may include Presidential Election questions.

So, it might be a good idea to read up on who is actually running!

Now roommate, who are you going to vote for?!

The One Who Was Honest

When a guys text begins with-

"You're an awesome girl, but..."

DON'T READ ON!

 IT'S A TRICK! 

 HE DOES NOT REALLY THINK YOU ARE AN AWESOME GIRL!

 HE IS NOT ABOUT TO ASK YOU OUT AGAIN!

Let's go back about a week with this story.

Thursday. 

After finals. 

Last Thirsty Thursday to experience before break. 

 Of course everyone at our school is at the bars that night.

Geared up in our best small town bar outfits, 

me and my roommates were on the prowl.

One of my roommates was already talking to some guy's, so I went over to say hi.

Turns out one of the guys was in a class of mine. 

Small school. 

Small town. 

Only bar strip. 

It was bound to happen. 

We began talking about how much we like Leonardo DiCaprio.

While I may not remember all of the conversation...

I DO know enough to say that it was a gosh darn good conversation!

Here is a little taste- 

Me: "I WILL marry Leo one day!"

Guy: "You should call me when you do!"

"Of course I will"

"Well you need my number to do that. It's...."

Smooth move right?! 

Totally fell for it too. 

My life...

As the night progressed and the drinks flowed, 

we began to talk about hanging out later that week.

With a kiss goodbye and a very graceful walk to the cab 

(Don't drink and drive) 

I made my way home with all of my roommates only to gush about what happened.

The next morning, I had a text from my bar guy and we set up a dinner date.

The day finally came and 

I was ready to go on a great date with a great guy!

He picked me up, 

came to my door to greet me and 

whisked me off to a nice dinner.

Conversation flowed well and I was sure this would lead 

to something that I have not had in a while.

A second date!

Two days later, he texted me to see how my day was. 

Good sign right? 

Guess not...

Me: "It's good. Where you interested in hanging out again?"

Guy: "You're an awesome girl, but I am not really looking for anything right now."

Annnnnnnd the heart sunk...

When will this whole second date thing happen?!? 

I am starting to think they do not exist.

So while this ended up to be a relation-shit, 

I did appreciate his honesty, even if it was not what I wanted to hear. 

I responded very politely by saying-

"Thank you for your honesty. Most guys would not do that. 

I had a nice time with you and hope we can still hang out as friends."

But what I was REALLY thinking-

"Who the hell has THAT good of a conversation about Leo, 

takes a girl on a sushi dinner date and 

then decides to tell her you're not looking for anything?!?! Tool."

Oh boy's. You're killing me.